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"Tramps like us, baby we were born to code".
Ladies and gentlemen!
brothers and sisters!
friends and neighbours!
from London's fashionable Kennington,
"Can I get down dad" is proud to present:
The Dukes of Uke
With their swinging rendition of George Formby's timeless:
When I'm cleaning windows
Is it rolling bob?
Ladies and gentlemen the break statement (known as Billy) marked in bold below was not in this afternoon. We have reason to believe that he was hiding in the stationary cuboard. His absence has caused all manner of problems; obviously the fact that the code fell thru his case to the TEXT_TYPE below but perhaps more importantly led directly to Monkey Programmer Boy climbing on the roof and singing songs from Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals.
In his defence he argues that he was never there in the first place and he is just a victim of rank bad programming by someone who should have never been taken off dBase III.
No one believes him tho.
switch(currentQuestion.getType()) {
case SurveyQuestion.NUMBER_TYPE :
pdaNumberUI = new PDANumberUI(this, currentSurvey) ;
pdaNumberUI.show(currentQuestion) ;
case SurveyQuestion.TEXT_TYPE :
pdaTextUI = new PDATextUI(this , currentSurvey) ;
pdaTextUI.show(currentQuestion) ;
break ;
case SurveyQuestion.RADIO_TYPE :
pdaRadioUI = new PDARadioUI(this , currentSurvey) ;
pdaRadioUI.show(currentQuestion) ;
break ;
case SurveyQuestion.COMBO_TYPE :
pdaTextUI = new PDATextUI(this, currentSurvey) ;
pdaTextUI.show(currentQuestion) ;
break ;
case SurveyQuestion.CHECKBOX_TYPE:
pdaCheckBoxUI = new PDACheckBoxUI(this, currentSurvey) ;
pdaCheckBoxUI.show(currentQuestion) ;
break ;
case SurveyQuestion.LISTBOX_TYPE :
pdaRadioUI = new PDARadioUI(this, currentSurvey) ;
pdaRadioUI.show(currentQuestion) ;
break ;
case SurveyQuestion.MESSAGE_TYPE :
pdaMessageUI = new PDAMessageUI(this, currentSurvey) ;
pdaMessageUI.show(currentQuestion) ;
break ;
}
Bruce Hornsby and the range boomed out again over the loudspeakers. "That's the way it is, some things will never change." It was the fifth time that GWR had played the song and it certainly didn't help time pass on the night shift; still, it was better than the endless phone-ins.
3AM in the warehouse somewhere in Swindon, 1985; Vacuum cleaners, fridges and spin dryers stacked higher than a house; a Manhattan made of white goods.
I'm in the back of van with Colin and my acne, waiting for Brian to return with a forklift full of electrical appliances. Silence. More silence.
At last, after three hours of pretending I wasn't there, Colin waves Brian away and fixes me with a stare.
"So d'yer s'pport the Town then?".
Surprised by Colin's sudden burst of conversation I nervously reply:
"Well I've seen them once or twice I think. Ummmm it may have been two nil against Bristol City, oh no Halifax. Yes"
Colin's says nothing, but stares at me, a huge pregnant pause. After what seems like eternity, and with perfect timing, Brian returns with another load; without moving his gaze Colin shouts over his shoulder:
"Brian! I THINK WE'VE GOT A W@NKER ON THE VAN".
Found this stuff about administering the Rich Client in Lotus Workplace. Hmmmm
I really like the new @commands:
@command([RunWithScissors]) ;
@command([PullYourWillyBetweenYourLegsAndLookLikeALady]) ;
@command([LookOutOfTheWindow]);
@command([WalkLikeAnEgyptian]) ;
@command([Chutney]) ;
@command([PlayDubReggae]) ;
@command([HideInTheToilets]) ;
@command([IWishThereWasSomethingInLotusScriptThatDidThis]) ;
@command([TalkLikeSherlockHolmes]) ;
@command([WhoPutTheBopInTheBopShooWopShoooWop]) ;
@command([WhoPutTheRamInTheRamALamADingDong]) ;
Do you think thay have missed any?
I am big into test driven development, couldn't get my head round it at first, but I think I have got the hang of it.
For anything I intend to write I first think of a test, write the test and then write the code. It's fab. As you go along you build up a lovely test harness that always gives you confidence that your code is solid whenever you make a change.
Junit is a utility that supports TDD in java and a fella has even had a go in Lotusscript. In the notes environment I can see an agent that tests all the classes in a set of script libraries, it may be more tricky with the UI. Although these tools are handy I reckon you could adopt the approach without them.
Really it's a revelation ... hell, I think I am ready to testify
SMS to domino and back is all rather easy it turns out. All you need is a service provider like itsArrived.net, they will (for a fee) supply you with a number to send you SMS messages to. Once you've got your number you can easily configure it online to POST the SMS messages thru to another URL, in my case a domino ?openAgent; it's all rather nobby.
Other service providers like iTagg will provide short numbers for texting , so you can do your own Pop Idol votes ;-). Bango.net are another.
Sat at Spuggy Acres with the Evil Doctor Pud. He has refused to go to Nursery because they told him off for smoking in the ball pool yesterday.
As long as he leaves me alone I will try and write an application that receives SMS posts from mobile phones and stuffs them in a Domino database. If it works it should even post back errors messages to the sender. oooo.
On the CD player is the Trojan "Tighten Up" box set featuring Nora Dean's timeless "Barbwire" which goes:
"I met a boy the other day
he got barbwire in his underpants
Aaa ma maaaa Aaa ma maaaa"
I'd like to hear the bleeding awful Brian Adams write something as good as that.
Spuggy Software is proud to present W@nker Detector Version 1.0.
Using our unique W@nk-o-matic technology the W@nker Detector gives your mobile phone the ability to detect complete w@nkers at over 20 metres away.
To download the W@nker Detector point your phone's browser at http://www.spuggy.co.uk/wd.wml
Here's some screen shots.
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If you are going to get in to J2EE and the rest then at some point you will have to deal with STRUTs and JSTL. By far the best value books I have found on these subjects are written by Sue Spielman. They tend to be at least half the price of other books covering the same topics and are more concise and to the point. Check out her books here
If you are going to read one book on project management then I would recomend Steve McConnel's Software Project Management Survival Guide. I just flicked throught again the other day and it is really fab and accessible stuff. Not like the ususal stuffy project management cobblers that you ususally have to digest. I reckon if you read and re-read his checklists whilst you are in the bowels of a project it will improve things immeasurably.
While you are at it you might as well read all his other stuff. It is equally good, infact I'd argue his books should be a prerequisite of anyone touching a keyboard.
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