My Business Card

Since Bill has outed me in a comment I guess it is time to go public with my business card.



This was done when I left my last permie job in 1997. It was done on the card printing machine at Bond Street tube station, it was going to say w@nker but then I hit the large ports and had a touch of "inspiration". I gave to everyone at my leaving do, with a wink and a "please keep in touch".

BA=Bachelor of Arts
MCNE=Master Novell Certified Engineer (hah hahahha ahhhaa)
CLP=Certified Lotus Professional
NUFC=Newcastle United Football club

BeautyJ

BeautyJ makes your java purdy.

Better still: "BeautyJ is also capable of auto-generating Javadoc comments with semantic information derived from identifier names."

Which means it sticks comments in where you have shamelessly left them out.

Some people may find this useful. <coughs>

Lotusphere in depth report

Workplace is lovely and one day my grandchildren will tell me about it.

Notes 7 DB2 integration and server performance enhancements are impressive but of course back in the real world most people have only been on r6 for six months.

Julian Robichaux's computer is much bigger than mine and he is a jolly nice bloke.

Billy Bob Buchan managed to fill a 200 person plus conference hall at 8:30 in the morning. He then proceded to sail a fine line between best practice and caberet - a tour de force no less. He is a jolly nice
Scottish bloke.

Jonvon is very serious about tea and rightly so. I think he should try Marks and Spencer's Camomile - it's the daddy. He is a jolly nice bloke.

The Disney food hall police make the Gestapo look like nice blond German boys; have a magical day my arse.

Warren Elsmore and Kitty are a jolly nice bloke and blokette.

I am BIG GIRL'S BLOUSE when it comes to rollercoaster rides but the Spiderman ride at universal was incredible. In fact it's the most fun I have had with 3d glasses on since I watched Emmanuel 3D in 1980.

Rob McDonagh is a jolly nice bloke.

Super Size me is fab, scary and brilliant and a must see (saw it on the plane)

Too many people told me that their company was canning Notes. 1500 may have converted to Notes from Exchange but how many have been lost?

Roy Holder is a jolly nice bloke and has joly nice cigarettes.

Paul Mooney is a jolly nice bloke and is just as scared of rollercoasters as me. He is a jolly nice bloke.

Declan 'Blogsphere' Lynch and Terri are a jolly nice bloke and blokette.

The drink Jagermeister is just German cough medicine.

Ambuj Goyal said: "There's a fundamental shift taking place in the front-end of computing". Frankly I don't believe him but then he is a really clever bloke and I am just a bit of a **** from Swindon.

Lotusphere Monday

Didn't make it out much today, I spent the day in my hotel room with a Morrocan boy I picked up at the "Whats new in Domino Designer" breakout session.

Oh and I got a badge with Lotusscript Wizard on it.

Like a burning Spitfire

Day 1 Achievements:

• I have toasted my Pocket PC. It is now deader than a dead thing from deadland.


• My mobile phone is flat and will not charge.


• The wireless card freezes my laptop and is unusable.

As Micky Mouse used to say:

Bollocks.

That said I did get to meet Julian with his clothes on at last.

A Harold Robbins Paperback

Of to Lotusphere have I got everything?

got my toothbrush,
bucket and spade,
Harold Robbins Paperback,
Timothy White's sun cream.
Big t-shirt with "Linux Rocks My World" on the front.

Probabaly not.

Quick Robin! To the Chutney Mobile.

I, as you know, am a 21st century uber consultant. A true Captain of industry who keeps the wheels of commerce turning; a shaft gold where all else is dark; a rider on the edge of dawn who takes no prisoners and asks no quarter.

All the more surprising then, that as I sped towards Gotham city this morning, Mrs Spug should call and ask:

"Have you zipped your flies up?"

I hadn't of course.

Quick Robin! to the chutney mobile.

SHAAAZAM!

Blue Moon of Kentucky

Luke Duke's girlfriend Anna kindly bought him some studio time at the Premises for Xmas.

So on thursday night The Dukes of Uke entered the studio. To you this may sound like two drunk men with tinny instruments but us it was the Stones at Olympic studios.

Here's what we sang: Blue Moon of Kentucky

w:bloggar

I published this post with w:bloggerw:bloggar which is a little blogging client that supports the Blogger API.

Groovy

I wonder if any of the domino based blog things could support it?

All: "Hey but we've got the Notes client you fool monkey boy!"

Oh yeah, still ... shame.

Letter Writing

I have decided to start writing letters again; just with a pen and paper, no computers; I may even invest in some headed paper. For no reason really, just to see if I can get a reply from the great and the good. All done in the style of the great Spike Milligan.

My enthusiasm was reinforced by the discovery of an old letter I had written to the Time Out letters page. One of their columnists had been moaning about children in restaurants, so I decided to complain. Suprisingly I was published, see if you can spot my letter below.

How does this site work?

This site is published using Blogger. Blogger is a free online blogging thing which is owned by Google. When you set up a blog you can publish it for free on their own servers or use you own space. Using you own space is better because you can upload you own images, as I often do.

Using your own space is easy as you just add some FTP details in to the blogger setup pages and Blogger FTPs it for you when you add a post. You can choose from some rather pleasant "look-and feels" too.

For sometime Blogger did not provide comments and as a result a whole host of third party "comment providers" sprang up; I use squawkbox. Squawkbox host your comments and let you ban trolls and stuff. Their site tends to go down a fair bit but they are still preferable to Blogger's new comment feature, which requires logins and guff. I have written a replacement comment thing in JSP/JSTL but I am not sure if I can be arsed to put it live.

The links on the left hand side are provided by Blogrolling. They provide a repository to store you links and prioritise them. Adding them to the site is done by simple adding a javascript library to the Blogger template.

The search box in the top right hand corner is provided by google and just searches this site.

Other bits like the odd form are provided by my own isp.

Cheap as chips.

Spug 'the hat' McChutney ...

I saw this picture on the front of the bbc news site:



and immediately thought of this picture (I had to flip it in photoshop first).



I think Ronnie is the spit of Gordon Brown and there is the wiff of Reggie's menace in Tony too.

Yoooo Slag

New years resolutions

A bit late but hey, here goes:

1. Say chutney less.


2. Install Workplace on my tiny laptop and then hold my breath till it hurts.


3. Talk like Sherlock Holmes more.


4. Quit my violent folding biker gang.


5. The Dukes of Uke to support Celene Dion at Vegas.


6. Encourage people to use Layout Regions more - they rock.


7. Write a lot more J2ME code.


8. Write a commercial J2ME App.


9. Finish my JSTL comments for this site.


10. Stop aiming an imaginary shotgun at the sky and shouting MY BIRD!.

Something for the ladies

It's Ladies night and the feelings right.

Something for the ladies